I can relate to everything you all are saying To those who are grieving too, Im sorry for your loss. Dont listen to anyone who says you are depressed and need therapy! I think the hardest part for me is that no one misses me if I dont come home at night after work or any other time for that matter, its incredibly frightening to be in this world alone. And No, I'll Never 'Get Over' It. I held him close by knowing that he is by my side. We also experience anticipatory grief, or the feelings of grief while our pet is still living, but we are aware of an . I took care of him during his last two years . My husband died 2 years ago (his anniversary, April 20, 2019). And amid the lessening, there are still periods where you feel as though its the 2nd month all over again. It is hard for my Ex to deal with me sometimes because of how much she sees how much i Love my wife and wishing she was her, and how special days makes my grief pick up. After the loss of a family pet, many people wonder how long they should wait before they get a new cat or dog. Next month is a two year mark that I lossed my only child, my little girl. I thought that by this time (14 months) it would hurt less. You Get Really, Really Tense. Im 67 now. I took time off work teaching to nurse her at home to the end. The 2nd year was worse. He was sick for over ten years and he was the one who kept my spirits going. And I dont apologise for these indulgences they are my medicine, my vitamins, my support. He was my life. Its been a year. Hi- I just read your storyits almost been 2 years since my husband died. The first year was mostly like a in shock, autopilot, anxiety driven adrenaline survival mode. You are not depressed and forget the damn therapy! The year anniversary of his passing will be Dec 5. I thought he slipped on the ice and hurt his back or knees. Disputes, mistakes, and shortcomings occur on both sides and are all in the past. I try to stay busy but most of the time its just around our house. If a child receives Survivors benefits, he or she can get up to 75 percent of the deceased parent's basic Social Security benefit. Look for feathers its a sign there near you. Although we got to say our good byes. Its so unnatural and wrong. Hi, Ive only just come across this page after searching, Is it normal to still feel so much grief, 18 months into a loss of a loved one. Kim was DOA at the hospital and I couldnt face seeing the non living face of another sister. The pain wont shrink, so I have to grow. I try to keep positive and remember that the love I have for him is stronger than anything in this world. I have good, great days, then.. ___days.I thank Gid fot the precious memories.. You are facing reality head due to your grief. I am the same. I can relate to nearly everyones pain, grief and hopelessness. He was 53 years old, and in excellent physical condition prior to his diagnosis. well lo and behold, who knew the second year would be a living nightmare. When, I feel as you (and I do feel that way), I think of what my beautiful wife and friend would do or say. We were together for 22 years. I am in the second year, 20 months ago I lost my husband,my sole mate after 31years&8 months of doing everything together,always by each others side,this is the hardest thing I have ever had to face! Like he meant nothing. Thanks for this. Warning: If the Start_date is greater than the End_date, the result will be #NUM!. I lost my mother (and I was her caregiver) in early 2017 (basically congenital heart failure, but she fail on what I consider a good day for her and never recovered and passed away the next day). It was more than a human can handle but. I think it better I stay home the rest of the week. He had lung cancer but had been ill for years and I cared for him all that time . Actually there have been windows of time, weeks at a time when I havent cried daily but I recently left the country to live in my native UK so I imagine that brought up a lot, hence the perceived regression. Very first time I laid my eyes on my bf I was in love. We experience the acute phase of grief, or the moment right after passing. I hope they never have to know what its like to have a melt down over changing a light bulb or finding ants in the kitchen. . I have had a fight with depression most of my life. Im sure that everyone on here can relate to that moment. But more so I feel awful for my mom. Its been 2years and 2 months and some days it feels like yesterday all over again. I am 75, married 44 years to the sweetest , caring man one could ask for. I know Im supposed to live one day at a time, etc, etc., to get through this, but quite frankly I am sick of doing that. We both had been married before and had children. They are 53 years old 50 years old and 47. It feels like Ive lost a part of my life. I went online to read up on it. I feel totally broken, and none of my friends understand, they just get in with their lives in a way I can never do again. The loss will always be in my shattered heart. Its way too much of a hassle! Even though they told me that he was going to die I didnt believe it for a minute. Blaming self for the death. My name is Dustin. The first year was numb. The what its are going to kill me. We are still here because our mission here on earth is not complete. After being with him for over half my life. God has healed me quite a bitI have never felt closer to my King, but there are times when I just miss her so much that the fog comes over me again. And nothing helps, no praying no counseling the kids are far. I can say there are days that are a bit better than others. I hope you have survived you thoughts of taking you life. The irony is he looked at me crying while I hold him and kiss his last breath. I show up for life but just get my body there. With By pass surgery. I know that you have been observing me from Heaven for many years. YouTube A body from the Dyatlov Pass incident. foward with the huge hole in my I lost the love of my life 11 months ago. Cancer was the thief that stole him from me and has forever changed my life. After Losing the Love of My Life, I'm Dating for the First Time in Decades. I am a musician I play guitar a song that I came across hit me like bricks its called, Something You Get Though by Willie Nelson look it up. I miss him so much . Everyone feels like Im negative, and depressing, and really I just want to see my mum. I would truly love to hear what others have done (remained or moved) and how they reflect on their choice. I was never like this. Yes, the lack of interest in things, the TV watching, but you do say you have faith it will get easier. visitors from Search Engine (by keyword) I am lost. It does ease after a while. I HAVE TO PUT ON A BRAVE FACE for my kids. I still am filled with sadness and feelings of not being able to go on without him. He got very angry but we never stopped loving each other . Take care all of you & we know were not alone experiencing this. I dont know how long ill Live on without him, trapped in this hell, but ill Be so relieved when this life is finished, and I see him again. He was my closest friend and confidant. My fathers started dating someone who slanders her and her opinion of me, and even though I know shes wrong and never met her it hurts so badly. Blurry. Its just over twelve months since my beautiful wife died of cancer.It was only three months from diagnosis to passing in that time my mother was also coming to the of her battle with cancer.So i lost the two most important people in my life in the same month words cannot describe hurt I felt. Its bittersweet reading all the comments thinking Im only on my 2nd month and some took forever to move on. My story is very much like yours. He used to say i was the wind beneath his wings oh, he had that so wrong, as i am stuck on the ground with not even a breeze under my wingsI do know how blessed i was to have had the 46 years with the love of my life. " People often say that time heals all wounds. Why am I so weak when I should be strong knowing that we always have to lose someone. Please know that I will keep all of you in my prayers and hopes for your own grief process. But now I sit here missing her so much For me, Everyday is a shocking reminder that my husband is not with me. I lost my husband of 44 years 14 months. After four years later I am now dealing with unresolved grief as well. On this day of mourning, you and your loved ones are in our thoughts. He was also my husband`s best friend but he seems to be coping better than I. I do not like to talk about my grief very much to other members of the family as I feel they will think I should be moving forward. When he died the entire family was crushed especially our Mama. My mind is crying. Big hugs. I still think of him every day even though I am dating a wonderful man. I will never be fine that was my baby. Pamela. . Try not to do that to your other child. Make little rituals thR help you feel close. I wish it would get better and I could smile again, just a simple smile once in awhile. One year I cried n cried. I was married 63 years and took care of my husband for his last 2 years. I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago and miss him terribly. Allie: your situation is so like mine. Sounds crazy right. I miss him so much and still feel so lost without him. That is strangely comforting to remember that. Everyday is a battle, i lost many months that is unaccountable for and emotionally not coping. The first is a book by the author Megan Devine, Its OK That Youre Not OK. tractable in google analytics I am afraid that if I dont learn to balance my grief with finding happiness I will jeopardize a future together. You are with me. Everyday I am wishing for him to come home, I am hoping that one day he would knock on the door and said Im home, the emptiness is killing me everyday, We misses him so much. My God what if I do get into those 80s? I kept going to work, serving at church, most of the things I had formerly done. He fell and hit his head, passing away very suddenly. Maybe I am afraid that I would one day forget the sound of my dads voice, his smiles and stories. Though there is one other Uncle, brother of my Mums, he lives in rural Ireland, only has a land line phone, has ongoing mental health conditions. I am conflicted as I proceed. Some days, I think Im going to be ok (not the same kind of OK! that maybe I would have been before all this happened, but an ok relative to my new life), and other days Im in a deep, dark, scary place that I dont think I can survive. I miss him so much. I miss him deeply . Holly. Lisa Zaleski, who lives in White Lake, Mich., confronted the unimaginable, first losing her daughter, Sydney, in June 2017 at the age of 23 in a car accident, then her son Robert in December 2019 . Nursed and cared for him at home right to the very end. I know your husband is with you in spirt. I've written letters to everyone who . I just had the one-year anniversary of losing my husband suddenly and unexpectedly after 35 years. I haven't stopped crying since you went away, and I've asked God time and time why you couldn't stay. How does one handle it? And youll survive them too. The first year, I was in a fog, very forgetful, sad, depressed & feeling lost. You do. i have so little motivation to work. He was doing well until a infection set in eventually going to his brain. I seem to be crying much more during the holidays. Trying the best I could to just be. I really just hate living now. Darak, You are still here so, you are in a sense moving on. I lost my mother, almost two years ago. On the anniversary of his funeral, I lost it. I got through the first year because of being the only one that could handle all of the problems and stuff that takes place after the bread winner passes suddenly. I hope my jumbled messy comments can help any who think about self harm. My heart goes out to all of those who have left comments in this thread. God bless you all. As hard as it still is I know I will see them again someday. I dont understand why! I have been tearing up all day but not in a sad way. My friends have gone on with their own lives. I met him when I was 11 and he was 13. I lost my wife on August 12, 2018. I will say all the craziness going on in the world and especially in the U.S. where the nightmares and fear continues with daily presidential tweetsa distraction I wish I didnt havebut a distraction from grief none the less. But what is hurting me now is that my oldest child who hasnt got a boyfriend dosnt wont to spend Xmas with me and my new boyfriend. Grief counselling for me in next 3m which helped build confidence. Donna, Im same as you . Health officials have previously recommended that most people receive a booster shot of COVID-19 vaccine more than eight months after completing their original vaccine regimen. Nothing. You can see them coming. I look forward to a time when it may ease, but for now i am grateful to read others experiences. He passed on January 28, 2018. I hurt in my heart so deep I cant breathe. Two months have passed. Also took her mind of it to for a bit. I loved My wife 12/15/2018 just a week before Christmas Just a week before that she got to see most of her family at her grandmothers funeral. I pray I will soon be better. We just put one foot in front of the other, dont we? But life sure is hard at times and not having my kids to support me and love me and just be there for me its hard but I am a survivor always have been and I always will be. I read The Year of Magical Thinking and at the end she says that eventually your loved one will become just a photo on the dresser. To survive is just being alive- I am not living. Recovery is slow for me. They are blessings. that is life. I understand what you are going through. I still work because I am 58. The reply by this self-titled old guy might just change the way you approach life and death. What if he knew he was sick and just didnt want me to know? I wish all of the posters, that god gives you the strength to be happy, smile, to know that your not really alone. Im going into my 2nd year of the loss of my son August 5, w2017.. he was murdered at the age of 23. Just keep living until you feel alive again, My life died October 26 2016 I am up and down. We waited so long for each other. -I am also 16 months on from losing the love of my life,knew her when we were 12 years old,but never got together until we were 31 years old ,god i miss her terribly she was my rock,I can actually say that time does heal a little bit,but as someone says to hold to kiss to hug one last time,we know also that wouldnt be enough dont we,i long to see her again hopefully i will,I think time does heal but i do not want to forget my wife , who knows what the future holds,but will never be the same,sory for my ramblings just found this site and every comment hits home god bless people xx, My husband of 45 years died 13 months ago. We know we loved each other so much but this terrible addiction to everything away including her now. I am really hoping as time goes by it gets better. I will never be happy on his journey, I have to find my own. It didnt end up good as i hadnt even started to grieve yet. Im in a slump dont wont go out or visit. There is such sadness and emptiness. She and I would go Black Friday shopping. And yes the expectation is there that you a get close on with things. but just lately especially coming up to xmas memories are coming too me all the time. Humans have the capacity to share themselves with another press. It was now our turn to enjoy life-she 62-me 64. I read about so many gone within a few months after losing their spouse and think how lucky they are! Today she would've turned 3. I took them for 2-3 weeks then went on a Mindfullness course and was able to stop the tabs easily. It would be rather strange if you did and I think that is so true. The last year and a half was the hardest as she began to lose the fight. All you can do is hang on and float. I pray for you and your recovery! Somehow, I feel I must leave in order to build a new life while at the same time I am afraid to leave the remnants of our life shared. Im sorry for your loss. I recently went out 2 eat w/some friends, shared some laughs, but found myself missing my best friend who I had shared so many laughs with over 30 yrs. I dont think we were lucky And I felt thankful that they went together and that they had each other. Like Wendy D. and LB, my mom was my best friend and my constant companion (I cared for during a progressive illness that lasted several years). Before, at least I had some role to play in this horrific scene, but now it feels as though there is an even duller grayness about everything. By Gods help we will get through this. Stay alive. I wish you better days and be glad you experienced a great love. And then there are days where I can't believe that it has been this long. She said if Im going to die. Its only at night when I lay in bed missing him holding me. I have had it with the insensitivity of some friends one in particular This is my 2nd Christmas without my beloved husband of 30 yrs. It's the kind of heartache you can feel in your bones. He was 66. But oh, the silence, the noisy silence.some might think it a relief after the long worry and caring and initially I think there was some small relief, but now I know he has really gone and I cannot escape the tormenting thoughts. My spouse passed away a limitless more than year ago . Mar 23, 2020 - Explore Pam Jenkins's board "Missing you since you went to Heaven", followed by 387 people on Pinterest. Desperately, that it sometimes hurt to breathe. In fact, a week after diagnosis (and at that time we didnt know the prognosis) the tumour haemorrhaged and 2 weeks after diagnosis, he died. I felt silly doing it, but she probably had a point. Jean Marie Feils, 82, of Plainview, passed away February 24, 2023 at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester, MN. I lost my brother five years ago at the age of 43. Im in the 3rd yrs of losing my brother and its been so hard then four weeks ago my other brother died! I dont have any words of advicejust know that I care that youre having a hard time. Hope you are looking after yourselves in these uncertain times. I have her ashes in the kitchen, where she loved to be. Just keep pushing onward and live while you are still able to. She managed to beat breast cancer but mysterious complications ultimately took her life. After 1.5 years, I have yet to accept the finality of his death and keep expecting him to come back. Four month After losing him, I lost my job. I dont mean always, but more often than I expect to. Im only 2 months in after the loss of my husband. Thanks for sharing your story and God bless and comfort you too. I am fine with it- I would welcome it- My time and work here is now done. I am 50 years old, he passed at the age of 53. I lost my husband, my best friend in 2016. Memories or to go into a coffee shop. It was a 16 months battle that we knew she was going to lose. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, youll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. It's been just a few years since you passed away. Im so sorry. The longer its been since weve seen them or heard their voice. I went back to work and I found some new hobbies and established my new normal. and I know now I am not going crazy. As I saw him as a father, I now, looking back, think I was rather selfish and am full of remorse. They may not even be pearls, but something beautiful and shining, lovely days to counteract the darkness. visitors from any country you want (USA/UK/CA/EU) The course is Christian based but applicable regardless of your belief and faith. But I meet someone in March 2017 three months after my husband passed away. You were and always will be the love of my life. Lost my son,my only child and best friend,13 months ago,38 years old,fell down his basement stairs,hit hit his head and died four days later.The pain gets worse every day.I cant even say more. I lost my son and then his father 150 days later. I am so fortunate that I have our wedding video. I Lost my husband. I dont agree with suicide and ending ones life, I at least understand why I did what I did. @@i lost my daughter May 2, 2018. I hope you find what works for you, what helps get you through, what makes it bearable to be alive. An Excell ant article..really on the mark. I dont feel like I will get better, I feel like I will get worse. At the end her got a second cancer;Melanoma. Everyone he met loved him, he never raised his voice and was so caring. I thought I was going crazy, until I came to this post. My husband was a Paramedic, and worked in the emergency department at a hospital. Why am I still here? I broke down n a Lowes store, felt ridiculous, & left. what I had with Glenna. I miss him everyday and I just pray to God that he gives me the strength I need to move forward in life because Im not only living for me. All this frustrates me on top of everything else. And I still miss you, I can't image life without you. I keep busy and that helps but I only have to look at his photo and that starts me off! I feel so empty and lost without her. I just so miss him by my side and our endless hours of talks. I dont want to go anywhere but have to. I have read your posts and want to share a couple discoveries that may help take the edge off your suffering and pain. My heart physically hurt so badly, that I prayed I would diethen and there. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can push myself to get past this hurdle. I too see couples similar age to me together and think how lucky they are to have each other. I dont think Ill ever be ok again. Year one: dont even remember. I pray that time will heal. Thank you for sharing your stories it makes me feel kind of normal. I am about 17 months out. This is good to know. I was hyper vigilant about every little thing; trying to hold on tight and control everything to keep from going under. I really think it helps. And the griever may find themselves thinking, this isnt any easier. He was gone and there was nothing he could do about it or me. I lost my husband 2 years ago very suddenly, we had been together 43 years. Where did that year go? I lost my husband Rick 10/2018. Cant find any purpose for my life. The other daughter from another marriage and she gave us three beautiful grandchildren Tyler 16 Dominic is turning in today and beautiful Savannah who just turned 3 every time I spend time with those children and I see, I too, lost my beloved husband two years ago. Just watching and being involved with the babies sometimes makes me very sad, since gran isnt with me. I try to keep moving forward but sometimes feel stuck. I hate her for that sentence. I cook dinners, I help with homework, I give hugs. My heart is breaking. Gratitude is everything. It can be just about anythingand the wave comes crashing.

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